User talk:NSirmountable
Welcome Hi, welcome to Creepypasta Wiki! Thanks for your edit to the What's in my reflection page. Please be sure to check out all the Site Rules, as it is important to follow them. Failure to abide by them may result in your account being blocked. Read some new pastas by checking out or browse by topic by checking out the Genre Listing. Please leave a message on my talk page if I can help with anything! SoPretentious (talk) 02:20, May 25, 2016 (UTC) EmpyrealInvective (talk) 02:23, May 25, 2016 (UTC) EmpyrealInvective (talk) 02:29, May 25, 2016 (UTC) Re: Story It was deleted because it was well-below quality standards. Starting with the basics, post your story using source mode as your story had this coding issue on every line: " Please don't trust them. ". These issues can cause formatting errors and even make a story unreadable. Besides the basic capitalization (you forget to capitalize "I" "i've noticed have haunted me", "bugs i have", etc. You improperly capitalize words. "The Fucking Screams!", "The walls seem cracked, even Bleeding.", etc. You also forget to capitalize the start of sentences. "it seems the other was".), punctuation (You forget to properly punctuate before dialogue. "They scream(comma missing) "Help me sir, help me find my way home."". You also forget to apostrophize words that are possessive "babies dead carcass"), wording ("Bugs, bugs i have never even began to think about.", "There is (are) the figures." A massive amount of fragmented/broken sentences. "They are shadowy.", "With a single eye.", "Not any normal spider.", etc.), there are a lot of issues in the story itself. The story is incredibly generic and the premise has been covered multiple times. The concept of mirror universes is overused and there really isn't a driving plot to get the audience involved/keep them interested in the story itself. Your use of violence really needs to be more descriptive if you're trying to drive home the brutality of the environment as it comes off as just being edgy and poorly handled. The story feels rushed like it was written in a single sitting where you didn't re-read anything you wrote as there are lines like this: "Bugs, bugs i have never even began to think about. Exist... There was a spider. Not any normal spider. (New paragraph)" and "Recently, I have broken every mirror in this fucking house. I try to stay away from water whenever I can. When I walk pass (sic) a mirror. I see them. Waiting. Watching." How exactly are they seeing them if they broke all the mirrors in the house? How did the entity leave the mirror in the first place and why haven't they done this before? Story issues cont.: Then there's the ending: "Please don't trust them. (new paragraph) Please help me sir. I need to find my way home." Why exactly did the mirror entity kill the protagonist and then finish (and post the story)? I'm just imagining the mirror entity hunched over the computer hunting-and-pecking keys and then looking up a website to post their story. It feels kind of comical, unexplained, and unneeded. What are their intentions here? Why post the story at all? Why share knowledge of their existence? Why is the author writing this story in the first place? It feels like a massive plot hole that really results in a sub-par story. I would strongly suggest using the writer's workshop for your next story as these were just a few of the issues I found in your story at a glance. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 02:49, May 25, 2016 (UTC) EmpyrealInvective (talk) 04:16, May 26, 2016 (UTC) Re: WW I'm not sure what you mean, copy the message and maybe I can clear it up. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 04:18, May 26, 2016 (UTC) :Copy the URL and I can check it out for you, but as of now, I really don't know what's causing the issue. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 04:21, May 26, 2016 (UTC)